Hey Dad, it's been a while, but you are never far from my thoughts and you never leave my heart...I've been thinking about you a lot recently...and i recently found out something awful about the day you died and i'm not sure how to process that information... It's started my thoughts and feelings snowballing and i'm struggling to deal with the impact of that revelation...There is only one reason im feeling like this again, it involves my negative trigger... I am having strange dreams, almost realistic...I think its my subconscious trying to find away to deal with this as I certainly can't deal with it while im awake, you know just how big that explosion would be, if it got out... I'm sorry moaning about myself, but within these thoughts and memories, I am remebering more memories, different ones, they are not all sad Dad...they are sweet, funny, lovely and i cherish them all, it's just these ones make me realise just how much we took you for granted, I never got the chance to thank you for everthing you did for me and how much i appreciated you...You were one of the good ones Dad, I just hope you know that and that somewhere deep down you knew how much we loved you and you took that with you, love will never die xxxx I